Over the past few weeks, there has been an awful silence between Heaven and the place I sit to talk to the Lover of my soul. And the silence is not a dead silence. I know I am talking to someone who is listening, just that I hear nothing in return. And this got me asking why and blaming myself for not being faithful to God. For having lost my love for Him and for not trying hard enough and obviously for disappointing Him. It's been a hard few weeks. But last night as my husband and I spent time in His presence to close the day, I prayed a prayer out of the heaviness of my heart. I prayed out of an anguish I don't experience very often. I prayed asking the LORD to help us be faithful. To help us not fall in our spiritual walk with Him. To give us everything we need to follow Him even when things are not going our way.
And once again, in that silence, I sat there. I sat there waiting for an answer. And even though I knew He was listening, I heard nothing. It made me want to throw my hands up in the air and say "Why can't you just say something??" I was filled with this longing for some attention that I wanted to roll on the floor and throw a tantrum like a 3 year old at the grocer's wanting candy when clearly his mama said "NO!" I wondered what will I have to do to get my LORD to talk to me and get Him to say the things I want to hear.
I gave up for a while and lay down struggling and pushing myself to fall asleep. And that's when I decided to read my devotional for that day (because obviously, as a sign of protest, I didn't read my devotional). And it read 2 Peter 1:3-4 "as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust."
That was the answer.
I asked God "Why don't you say anything?" He answers: "I have said everything that needs to be said in My word."
I asked God "What must I do to get you to say something to me?" He answers: "Nothing. My power has given you everything you need."
And right there, I had my "Aha!" moment! I felt like this person who was suffering from Alzheimer's for a very long time and had suddenly been healed.
God reminded me that I don't have to do anything but go back to the basics. Go back to what is important. Not because I know what needs to be done, but because "His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness". He has given me everything. I saw it years ago and then something blinded me. But now I see it again. All that I need for life and godliness, He has provided. All that I need to live a life pleasing to Him, has been taken care of and given to me. How could I forget that God is Jehovah Jireh even in my spiritual life?
He doesn't just say He has given us everything, He uses Peter to say how and why and through whom.
Through whom?: through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue
How?: by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises
Why?: that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
It's a whole lot clearer now. Because, so often, I long to hear God's voice without actually listening. His promises, His word are the tools He has given us. And insecurity creeps in when we fail to see that He has made a way for us to draw near to Him so that we will not be corrupted by this world but rather be a part of God's divine nature which we crave and long for.
It's amazing how God can take simple truths and make then stand out.
God has provided not only for my physical, financial and emotional needs. He has provided for my spiritual needs too. If my desire is to be like Him and walk with him and not fall in my walk with Him, He directs me to the basics and tells me where to start. He says, start where you first started. Start with My Word. Start with My promises. Then just wait and watch. You'll see what I can do.
Well, it isn't the end of everything by learning this truth. It's a simple start. And if you've been hearing nothing from the Lover of your soul, let's go back to the start and see what He says. His word stands true. If He says you will find it in His word, then we better start looking for an answer to our questions and a promise for our desires.
And once again, in that silence, I sat there. I sat there waiting for an answer. And even though I knew He was listening, I heard nothing. It made me want to throw my hands up in the air and say "Why can't you just say something??" I was filled with this longing for some attention that I wanted to roll on the floor and throw a tantrum like a 3 year old at the grocer's wanting candy when clearly his mama said "NO!" I wondered what will I have to do to get my LORD to talk to me and get Him to say the things I want to hear.
I gave up for a while and lay down struggling and pushing myself to fall asleep. And that's when I decided to read my devotional for that day (because obviously, as a sign of protest, I didn't read my devotional). And it read 2 Peter 1:3-4 "as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust."
That was the answer.
I asked God "Why don't you say anything?" He answers: "I have said everything that needs to be said in My word."
I asked God "What must I do to get you to say something to me?" He answers: "Nothing. My power has given you everything you need."
And right there, I had my "Aha!" moment! I felt like this person who was suffering from Alzheimer's for a very long time and had suddenly been healed.
God reminded me that I don't have to do anything but go back to the basics. Go back to what is important. Not because I know what needs to be done, but because "His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness". He has given me everything. I saw it years ago and then something blinded me. But now I see it again. All that I need for life and godliness, He has provided. All that I need to live a life pleasing to Him, has been taken care of and given to me. How could I forget that God is Jehovah Jireh even in my spiritual life?
He doesn't just say He has given us everything, He uses Peter to say how and why and through whom.
Through whom?: through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue
How?: by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises
Why?: that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
It's a whole lot clearer now. Because, so often, I long to hear God's voice without actually listening. His promises, His word are the tools He has given us. And insecurity creeps in when we fail to see that He has made a way for us to draw near to Him so that we will not be corrupted by this world but rather be a part of God's divine nature which we crave and long for.
It's amazing how God can take simple truths and make then stand out.
God has provided not only for my physical, financial and emotional needs. He has provided for my spiritual needs too. If my desire is to be like Him and walk with him and not fall in my walk with Him, He directs me to the basics and tells me where to start. He says, start where you first started. Start with My Word. Start with My promises. Then just wait and watch. You'll see what I can do.
Well, it isn't the end of everything by learning this truth. It's a simple start. And if you've been hearing nothing from the Lover of your soul, let's go back to the start and see what He says. His word stands true. If He says you will find it in His word, then we better start looking for an answer to our questions and a promise for our desires.
